Achievement Beard

READ MY LIPS... Guide! The Best Way to Unlock 1750/1750.

2011-08-15T14:39:00.000-07:00

When it comes to gamerscore it just doesn't get any more labyrinthine than Lips, and now that I'm finally close to completing the game I figured I'd create what I wished was out there in the first place: a comprehensive guide to tell me what the heck was going on here. So I've taken the most useful advice and techniques I found on the net (credit where credit is due) and combined it with what I've personally found works best and put together this guide - how sad is that!

First, as with any game, I'd recommend having your fun with it. It's a decent karaoke, party game worth a lot of fun, especially if you have a friend to enjoy it with. Long past that point, however, you'll notice you're still missing quite a bit of achievements, and you may even notice how much grinding you'd have to do to finally unlock them all, namely those that require earning 200,000 stars ("Let's Get it STAR-ted" - 40G) and 1,500 medals ("Heavy Medal" - 30G). Then you'd go online and have a hard time even figuring out what you need to get all 1750G. Then you'd take a nap. Then you'd rather play any other game for several years. Then you'd finally sit down and figure it out! Then you'd write about it all in 2nd person for no discernible reason. Then you'd stop, fearing you'd taken the joke way too far already.

What You Need

Lips (Original Game) - Most (not all) of this game's achievements can be earned with any of the DLC discs, but also having the original will end up saving you a lot of time in the long run (earn double the medals for singing co-op!).
Lips: I Love the 80s (retail disc) - This disc was only released in the UK, but luckily it was made region free so any copy will work on any Xbox. Also, take note that the corresponding "I Love the 80s" DLC pack that was released in the the US cannot be used to unlock any achievements - you need the disc.
Lips: Party Classics (retail disc) - Again you'll need the disc itself to unlock these achievements, especially those that mention Party Classics specifically.
2 Wireless Microphones - The original Lips game will not recognize USB mics, so you'll need 2 wireless ones for co-op if you want to save all that time I mentioned earlier (keep reading).
1 Wired USB Microphone (if possible) - One from any game, any console will usually work (as long as there's a USB connection you're good to go), this will help with earning stars later as Party Classics and I Love the 80s do recognize USB mics.
1 Wired Controller (if possible) - Not too necessary, just nice if you don't want to have to worry about your wireless controller shutting off automatically while you grind out some of the later achievements.
Large-ish Headphones (if possible) - If you can afford to lose some friends, roommates, and/or wives then you can just use any speakers loud enough for the mics to pick up (including those of your TV), otherwise invest in some of these.

That's right, don't even bother getting the Number One Hits disc, it doesn't have any specific achievements like I Love the 80s or Party Classics does, so you can just use either of those 2 discs to unlock all of the ach from Number One Hits. There are still bundles for sale out there that include 2 wireless mics and the original game, or you can spring for the mics separately for around $15 - $20 a piece. Technically you could do all 1750G with just 1 wireless mic and the 3 game discs (Lips, I Love the 80s, and Party Classics), but spending the extra 20 bucks or so for the additional mic(s) could end up saving you a lot of effort and many, many hours - well worth it.

What You Should Know

The original Lips is only good for unlocking the original 1000G, but your I Love the 80s or Party Classics disc will unlock any ach from any disc (although achievements that call for a specific disc won't unlock with any other disc, obviously).
The original Lips does allows your main account to earn double the medals while singing in co-op, whereas the DLC discs will attribute those medals to either your co-op partner (if signed in) or just discard them entirely (you'll notice your partner's medals, stars, and score are grayed out on the final screen).
The original Lips disc does not let you earn stars while singing in "freestyle" mode, but the DLC discs do.
Despite all those cans and can'ts, you can still play any song using any disc: just hit Y (sort) and/or X (view) on the song selection screen (depending on which disc you have in) until you see the songs from all discs on the screen, then choose whichever song you like. The game will ask you to swap discs if needed, but the gameplay will remain the same as whichever disc was inserted first. This will come in handy where songs and/or gameplay from one disc help to better unlock achievements on the other.
You can always check how many medals and stars you have by selecting "My Lips" from the main menu of any disc, but the original Lips disc will only show what you've earned using that game. Using "My Lips" from any of the DLC discs, however, will show you your combined totals - everything you've earned while playing with any disc.

What You Should Do

Most of the achievements are pretty easy and straightforward so I'll just mention the ones that seem to be the hardest and/or most time consuming of the bunch.

Let's Get it STAR-ted - 40G - Gained 200,000 total stars.
Unlock every other achievement in the game and you'll be closer to 50,000 stars rather than 200,000, so I'd recommend picking up the rest using this guy's technique. Essentially, you'll use Party Classics or I Love the 80s to play a specific song of his in Freestyle mode while playing back the same song into the microphone. Using a wired controller will keep it from shutting off every 15 minutes, and using a USB mic will trigger your star power automatically once your meter is full. For the song you can either network your PC, put it on a "removable device" (Zune, USB stick, etc), or burn it to a CD then rip it to your HDD (what I did). For playback you can use your own TV speakers, a pair of headphones plugged into your TV or surround system, or headphones plugged into any other device that will play the song back - just make sure the mic volume on the game is turned down (LT) and the song volume is loud enough for the mic to pick it up. Keep an eye on how fast the stars accumulate when you first start the song, and if they've slowed down for whatever reason (as inexplicably happened to me after a song or two sometimes) then just restart the song, that should fix it.

Heavy Medal - 30G - Earn 1,500 total medals.
Another you likely won't even be halfway done with by time you unlock the others, but the fix isn't quite as "hands-off" unfortunately. Whenever possible sing any song you have to do with the original Lips game in co-op (sing into both mics yourself if needed), as any medals your partner earns will also go to you. Another thing you can do that is a little more "hands-off" is play Young MC's "Bust a Move" while feeding the sound back into the mic (again using headphones or speakers and turn the mic volume down with left trigger). Doing just that will get you about 6 or 7 medals a song, and pressing X and/or shaking the mics to the beat for a minute or so each song will get you 4 more on top of that. Like I mentioned above, you'll need 2 wireless mics for co-op as the original Lips doesn't support USB mics, and earning double the medals in co-op does not work on the DLC discs.

The Great Ball of Fire - 40G - Get 200 combos.
Combos are just how many "notes" you sing correctly in a row, a gameplay feature that only exists on the DLC discs. The easiest song I found, however, is on the original Lips disc: Young MC's "Bust a Move" (again). So here's where you'll want to use Party Classics or I Love the 80s to play a song from the original disc, just change the sort and/or view at the song selection screen until you can easily select "Bust a Move". After switching discs when the game asks you to, just sing "Na Na Na Na Na" into the mic at eventually you'll hit a point where that's enough to get your combos all the way to 200.

Defending Champion - 25G - Got 20 challenge wins.
Best thing I can tell you is that you don't have to be a gold account to challenge someone. Just create your a new (free) silver account on your own console if you have to and send easy challenges to yourself.

Legendary Performer - 40G - Earn a Bronze Cup or better on 20 songs.
Despite being a dreaded leaderboard achievement, this is actually a lot easier than it sounds - I got it just by naturally playing co-op through I Love the 80s. If you get close enough you'll see your progress pop up on the screen during the song, then just get that number under 1000 and you'll get the trophy. Always sing co-op (less people on that leaderboard), play songs from the original Lips through Party Classics or I Love the 80s, and (last resort) download some DLC songs if you have to.

Two Cool - 30G - Get "Cool" in every page for a song in co-op mode.
This was one of the achievements that gave me the most trouble. This was the guide I used, and I didn't want to pay for any extra songs so I got it with Sheryl Crow's "Soak Up the Sun" (again by playing it through either of the DLC discs). I also got pretty close by downloading the free track "Party Classics Song Medley" and singing into both mics myself, but YMCA was giving me some problems so I switched. Or you can pick any song you know really well, just make sure there aren't any harmony parts if you're alone singing into both mics.

Tech & Shout ('80s disc) - 20G - Earn a Technique medal in the song "Shout".
And this was the other one that gave me the most trouble. I found some helpful suggestions here, like lightly hitting your chest, shaking one leg, or singing "nananana" during the long notes. I also got a vibrato once by singing with my left hand while bouncing my right on the couch where I sat. Try not to play it with anyone else in the room during this or their laughter AT you will drown out all the music.

Relax Explosion ('80s disc) - 20G - Earn a Big Bang rating in the song "Relax".
Sing in co-op ("duet") and aim for 1.4 million points by gaining all the medals you can and stars that you can (hit all your gestures and timed noisemakers and trigger the x2 star bonus by lifting both mics at the same time whenever possible). The hard part: you're going to have to learn the song here.

I'm Kind Of a Big Deal - 40G - Achieved the rank of "Infinity".
Looks like this is attached to getting "cool" on every page and earning all 6 (or 12 if you're in co-op) medals, and achieving whatever score you'd normally need for a "Big Bang" ranking in the song. If you have a song you know really well you can probably do this, if not then it's back to "Bust a Move" yet again! Just feed the audio back into the mic somehow (TV speakers, headphones) or sing "nanananana" to the beat and don't forget to shake the mics for the party and performance medals. If you do it in co-op then the x2 star bonus for activating your star power at the same time is a must!

Call Me Superstar - 40G - Achieved a Grand Ranking of "Superstar."
You'll need at least 50,000 stars and 100 of each medal. Not that hard, really, except by the time I was done with the other achievements I only had around 80 technique medals (couple hundred each of the rest). Best way I found to quickly earn the rest of the technique medals I needed was by playing Ultravox's "Vienna" through the original Lips disc (again hit X at song selection until you see "All"). The song has several long notes easy to get vibrato bonuses on, and playing co-op through the original Lips disc will let you earn twice the medals for every song.

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That's it, but if you have any problems or questions with achievements I haven't listed just hit "comment" and ask away!

Tips - Shadow Complex - "Serious Complex" (Level 50) (Video)

2011-08-11T11:00:00.000-07:00

Tips - Paperboy - "Easy Week" (Video)

2011-07-27T10:31:00.000-07:00

Finally finished Paperboy. I bought the game a good 4 years ago and have been sitting on it ever since getting hung up on the last - and hardest - achievement: Easy Week. Funny thing is, even though I've had the game for 4 years, it's only about 4 hours total that I've spent trying to unlock the achievement. Something about the simplicity of the old-school makes it twice as aggravating - all I have are two stupid buttons to worry about.

Well, my latest self-imposed lull between games eventually led me to plant myself on the couch a couple days ago and resolve to finally unlock the stupid achievement. Day 1 produced the normal sputtering burst of an attempt before rage-quitting at 1AM, but Day 2 ended in success (albeit just as sputtering). Here are the tips:

Deliver Your Papers! - Not only that, but go for Perfect Delivery for at least 2 days out of the week (Monday/Tuesday are the easiest, obviously, but Wednesday/Thursday are also very possible). This will 1) give you great points and 2) nullify some threats!
More Points! - Combined with perfect/near perfect deliveries, breaking non-subscriber (red) houses and taking the obstacle course slow enough to hit some hoops and make some jumps will lead to 2 - sometimes 3 - extra lives that you will absolutely need to win.
Don't Die! - Seriously, if you die on Monday or Tuesday, just restart. In fact, I'd recommend saving all your men until Friday, which is where things really get hard. At that point, choose your battles. If there's a spot that's especially hard for you, and you can't formulate a reusable strategy to avoid the obstacle, just plan to die there - you'll respawn in the clear. Win in part by calculated attrition if you have to!
Specifics - watch the video.

There you have it, Paperbeard out.

Marvel vs. Capcom vs. Beard: The Fate of Not Much, Really

2011-02-24T09:02:00.000-08:00

So this was a surprise in every way possible. I hardly ever buy new games, and I buy fighting games even less often than that (renting DOA4 was the closest I've ever come on the 360, and we all know how that turned out). Combine that with the fact that I was actually aware of how difficult a 1K could be here, and you get one big WTFBeardmobile.

What can I say, I guess my passing impression with all those killer character trailers belied a deeper interest in pressing down-forward-B more than a hundred times a day.

But you probably didn't come to AchievementBeard.com to hear me wax smarmy about graphics or gameplay, in fact, I'm pretty sure you're here because you misspelled "AchievementBears" into your browser bar. Well, the joke's on you! Because while you're busy wondering and/or seeing if that site actually exists, I'm going to talk about my first 400G for Marvel vs. Capcom!

Like I said, I don't get many fighting games. Street Fighter II on my SNES was amazing, of course, but that was back when "combos" were just something the AI did to make you angry, back before "button mashing" even had a name. It's a narrowly defined genre to begin with that has only gotten more complicated over time, so it's entirely understandable that the achievements for such games have largely catered to enthusiasts, i.e are hard.

Which is why I was excited when the first three achievements I popped for Marvel vs. Capcom were some that I originally thought might give me the most trouble: "Land a Viewtiful/Incredible/Uncanny (31/65/91 hit) Combo." In fact, by the end of that first 1.5 hour session I was at 155G, and I've since unlocked "Herculean Task" (beat arcade mode on very hard) and "Saving My Quarters" (beat arcade mode without continues) - 2 others that sounded harder than they actually were (again, fighting game n00b here). Even the ach for reaching the rank of 1st Class online is semi-viral - all you have to do is play (not even beat) someone that has gained the rank and you'll unlock it. The rest (online and off) might seem grindy at times, but overall I'd say there are numerous important concessions that make the achievements (not to mention the game) very accessible to everyone, not just the genre geniuses.

The one exception is "A New Avenger" (40G), of course, for which you have to clear 320 out of 360 "missions", the exclusion of which would also keep you from unlocking "Master of Fate" (50G) - because somebody out there still thinks achievements for unlocking achievements is a good idea (they're already meta people!). However, if Capcom decides to get off their duff and release more characters instead of costumes this time around (are you really all that concerned with dressing up all your Street Fighter sprites?), every entry would give us 10 more missions each, making 1K very, very possible.

So what do you say Capcom? We know you've already done most of the work on Frank West, and at least thought about Doc Oc at some point - let's see what you got!

Autistic Interest

2011-01-27T11:44:00.000-08:00

We achievement hunters don't just have OCD, we can do autism too!

I came upon an article this morning about an 11-year-old autistic kid that received the whole "gamerscore-reset-cheater-label" treatment by Micorsoft. The story sparked my interest if only for the questions it provoked: did he understand what "cheating" was? That others consider it "wrong"? That there were risks involved? For many kids with autism the answer would be "no" to all of the above, plain and simple - so is that still cheating? As philosophical as that might sound, Microsoft's Terms of Service that we all "sign" upon joining Xbox Live unequivocally says: yes, still cheating. Furthermore, the possibility that savant-like skill supplanted cheating in this instance has since been disproved - but at least it made for an interesting headline while it lasted!

Which was one of the reasons I typed up a little article myself, as I love doing for TrueAchievements from time to time. Unfortunately, for reasons completely within my control (my own stupidity), the article will not be printed there. So where can orphaned articles go to die? Why, AchievementBeard.com of course!

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According to bad writers that work for Seattle's Q13 Fox News, autistic 11-year-old Julias Jackson was "socked in the stomach by Xbox Online" when he booted up his Xbox last week and found the label "Cheater" in place of 1500 deleted achievements that he had racked up over the course of about 200 days. Understandably upset, Julias's mother phoned Xbox Live and was immediately connected with people who had no idea what she was talking about, but was finally able to elicit this response later on via email:

The only actions that we take are to correct the player's current Gamerscore, and to label the player as a "cheater." This label can be observed on Xbox.com and through the player's view of their Gamercard on a console or computer that is connected to Xbox LIVE. The player can still legitimately gain future achievements. The player's experience does not change in any other way.

Julias's mother maintains, however, that her son's achievements were legitimate, due only to "his hard work and hours logged online", and that he can "master games in three to four days." In any event, she added that Xbox Live is "pretty much his only outlet and his only friend, because of autism", and that he was correspondingly devastated by the event.

Microsoft hasn't backed down though, and subsequently issued this response to Kotaku's inquiries:

Gamerscore resets are done when cheating is detected to keep LIVE fun, fair and safe for everyone. We only do them when we are 100% confident that cheating has occurred, and they are not something that can be appealed. Details can be found here - http://www.xbox.com/Live/Cheating.

Likewise, Stephen Toulouse, director of policy and enforcement for Xbox Live, confirmed via Twitter that "this wasn't a 'he played too good' situation at all," and that the details regarding young Julias's "cheated achievements" have since been given to his mother.

Achievement [Psyche] Unblocked!

2010-10-21T09:36:00.001-07:00

It was July 2006, Daniel Powter was all the rage, fraternities everywhere wouldn't stop talking like Borat, and I had just rented my ninth Xbox game (ever) in the hopes of unlocking some more of these "achievements" I was beginning to enjoy so much. The game was Human Head/3D Realms' Prey, and I was quickly becoming annoyed with all the gameplay they had placed between me and my precious points. Even the scant day-and-a-half it took me to sail through all 1000 gamerscore was apparently too much, seeing as I returned the game with so much force that Blockbusters everywhere have been going out of business ever since.

A couple days later I received the latest issue of [Popular Gaming Publication!] in the mail, and opened up to find Prey plastered with their "Game of the Month" award. Sure, it was a slow month for games (it was either Prey or Chromehounds, for Pete's sake), but the more I thought about it the more I realized that my rabid achievement hunting had seriously screwed my appreciation of a decent game - and the achievements weren't even that bad! For me, it was an experience that defined the dark side of playing for points, and it's a definition that has stuck with me ever since. Not surprisingly, it's also the type of thing that many gamemakers have become overtly concerned with this generation.

Way back in March you may remember hearing about one such gamemaker, indie developer Chris Hecker, whose talk from GDC drew from budding research that suggests being extrinsically rewarded for completing tasks may actually diminish the task itself. In other words: exactly what I had experienced while earning achievements ("extrinsic reward") for playing Prey ("diminished task"). Hecker et al. argue that "intrinsic motivation" is the real goal for designers, and that taking away from such can lead to crappy games and "repetitive, dull tasks." They're absolutely right, but I don't think the player is positively powerless in this equation. It might take a conscious decision after some genuine reflection, but the mistake I made back in 2006 is very avoidable.

Which is why I find it at least a little funny when achievements as a whole are met with disdain, shame, or even hostility at times. Yes, they should never overshadow anything as possibly profound as gameplay or narrative, but they have their place. Haven't things like scoring and "leaderboards" been a part of gaming since the beginning? Even when the most sublime game succeeds in surpassing the sum of its parts it's not despite being a game (i.e. interactive), it's wholly because of it. Every game is different, of course, and there are far more gray areas than even I have alluded to, but ultimately I say playing for points and appreciation are not mutually exclusive endeavors.

So to all you closet achievement lovers out there, wherever you may be, I say stand tall and shout loudly, "I'm coming out of the closet, right now!" Don't worry, everyone will assume you're referring to achievements, and you'll make a bunch of new friends afterwards!

On Cheating

2010-09-24T14:26:00.001-07:00

This one comes mostly from the vault, which is what we're going to call anywhere else The Beard has refused to shut-up (including the supermarket) over the course of his illustrious life. Not much has changed about cheating since it was invented, though, so this should still make some sense. Some.

Acheatments Unlocked!

Some of you are already thinking: why even care? Don't worry, I get that a lot. The Care Bears care, get over it, you're probably not the Care Police anyways (they're pretty busy with that Mosque thing right now). This is the internet, where people inexplicably care about things™. At the very least, it shouldn't be too hard for anyone that's ever played a game before to figure out why cheating might ruffle some people's feathers. So here are some of the arguments I hear most often:

It's Just a Meaningless Number Anyways

Ever notice how what's "meaningful" changes from person to person? Sure, you can't buy anything with gamerscore, you can't typically trade it for anything, and most people (maybe even most gamers) don't even care that it exists - but is that all it takes to be "meaningful"? Have you ever tried to play a card or board game with your friends or family wherein you all accrue a bunch of meaningless points? Try adding a bunch of points to your score outside the rules of the game, see how well that goes over (if anybody gets upset, relax, just remember to tell them it doesn't matter).

I've even heard some gamesavers use this reasoning themselves, as if they weren't the ones cheating to raise their scores in the first place. The truth is both parties care about that meaningless number, one just feels the need to justify their methods.

Cheaters are Still "Achieving" Something

Sure why not - it's true, isn't it? There are actually more than a few instances out there where cheating requires quite a bit of admirable ability, even cheating at gamerscore probably entails some above average computer skills or something, but if that's all that matters then why not say so? Why not put "great at gamesaving" or "proficient profile glitcher" somewhere on your profile? Well, because some people need more validation than others, and having a high gamerscore is just another way of getting it, whether they deserve it or not (really, it's bad enough when people with legitimate gamerscores do this).

It Doesn't Affect Anybody but Me

It's always good to keep things in perspective, and regardless of who and how many of us care about achievements... they're just achievements, and cheating to obtain them definitely isn't sending anybody home with broken bones or shattered psyches. Having said that, nobody exists in a vacuum (because they're really small), especially when it comes to video games nowadays. Even within gaming, gamerscore has an inherently heavy social aspect all on its own. Think back to my previous example, would your cheating really not affect any of the other players? At best it might just devalue the game, but at worst it can taint the entire community.

It's My Gamertag, I Can Do Whatever I Want

As with so many things, this is what it all comes down to: choice. Of course you can "do whatever you want", and that's something that nobody can truly take away from you, just as I can get unnecessarily serious about this and nobody can stop me. At the end of the day, though, people will dislike us for different reasons: I'll be "the obsessive achievement dork that should really get a life", but you'll be "the cheater." If you're fine with that, great, then be up front about it. If it's something you hide so as to look awesome to the unwitting, then you really might want to reevaluate a couple things before moving on. That, or you could start a blog about it to showcase your personality disorder - works for me!

Sincerely,

Dr. Beard, PhD.

PAY to K: Rock Band 3 Achievement Break Down

2010-09-09T11:17:00.000-07:00

Achievements often walk that fine line between amusement and marketing, between game and gimmick, usually depending on who's at the helm. I've always held Harmonix in high regard when it comes to achievements, despite some repetition across titles they've generally come up with fun, inventive (albeit some very difficult) stuff that goes beyond the "afterthought" treatment that many developers seem to adopt. At first glance the achievements for Rock Band 3 look more like familiar fun than selling strategy (repetition does beget familiarity, after all), but a closer look makes at least one thing clear: this completion isn't going to cost some cash.

Peripherals for Points - 500G

Keys Streaker - 15G - Get a streak of 350 notes on Keys.
Keys Apprentice - 20G - 5 Star on Easy Keys (or 3 Star on a higher difficulty) any 25 Rock Band 3 songs.
Pro Bass Apprentice - 20G - 5 Star on Easy Pro Bass (or 3 Star on a higher difficulty) any 25 Rock Band 3 songs.
Drum Trainer Initiate - 15G - Complete the introductory Pro Drum Trainer lessons.
Drum Trainer Graduate - 30G - Complete the final Pro Drum Trainer lessons.
Play a Real Guitar Already! - 15G - Play "The Hardest Button to Button" on Pro Guitar.
Pro Guitar to the Max - 15G - Max out your Score Multiplier meter on Pro Guitar.
Power Chords - 15G - Complete the "Power Chords" lessons in the Pro Guitar trainer.
Complex Chords - 25G - Complete the "More Chord Holding and Arpeggiation" Pro Guitar lessons.
Pro Guitar Apprentice - 20G - 5 Star on Easy Pro Guitar (or 3 Star on a higher difficulty) any 25 Rock Band 3 songs.
Pro Keyboardist - 15G - Hit at least 90% of the notes in 3 songs on Expert Pro Keys.
Pro Keys Graduate - 25G - Complete the final Pro Keys trainers.
Pro Keys to the Max - 15G - Max out your Score Multiplier meter on Pro Keys.
Pro Keys Apprentice - 20G - 5 Star on Easy Pro Keys (or 3 Star on a higher difficulty) any 25 Rock Band 3 songs.
Triple Awesome - 10G - Get a Triple Awesome while playing with Vocal Harmonies.
Is This Just Fantasy? - 25G - Hit all triple awesomes in "Bohemian Rhapsody" on Medium or a higher difficulty.
Downloader - 20G - Play a downloaded song.
Mercurial Vocalist - 30G - Earn 5 stars on Vocals on a downloaded Queen song.
Fistful of Awesome - 15G - Beat 5 downloaded songs.
Accountant's Dozen - 15G - Beat 12 downloaded songs.
Decent Collection - 15G - Beat 20 downloaded songs.
I Want It All - 15G - Play a downloaded Queen song.
Shameless Self-Promotion - 15G - Download and play three songs from a band that has Harmonix team members in it.
Just Another Band Out of Boston - 15G - 5 Star any Boston song.
Dave Grohl Band - 30G - Beat 5 songs from any band that has had Dave Grohl as a member.
The Perfect Drug - 30G - Get a 200 note streak on "The Perfect Drug".

In addition to the game, these 500 points will cost you 3 more cymbals, 2 more microphones, a pro guitar, a keyboard, and a bit of DLC - and that's assuming you've previously purchased a full setup (guitar, mic, drums) already. To be fair, this really isn't anything out of the ordinary: Harmonix has worked hard to create what looks like a great game, and the achievements necessarily reflect the latest innovations this iteration has to offer - it's the same with any game, sequel or not. What's more, DLC achievements are just that, achievements for DLC (I'm actually glad to see Harmonix finally take advantage of the DLC option, although I'm a little disappointed it didn't happen 3 or 4 months from now when Rock Band 3's setlist will be sounding a little... played). I'm sure I'll come up with 483,256 more "legitimate" reasons to spend the money once the game comes out, but that won't change the fact that it'll be the most expensive 1250 points ever launched.

We Get It, You're Poor, But Are They Difficult?

If you do end up spending the money, Dave Grohl Band (30), Just Another Band Out of Boston (15), Shameless Self-Promotion (15), I Want It All (15), Decent Collection (15), Accountant's Dozen (15), Fistful of Awesome (15), Downloader (20), Triple Awesome (10), and Drum Trainer Initiate (15) will also probably be a pretty painless 165G, along with the 415G below - that's 580G with a bit of time and minimal practice. Some notable concessions include merely "completing" the Endless Setlist III (no Platinum Artist this time around), just earning 3 stars for (essentially just passing) songs if you're not playing on easy, and a few more for basically just having learned the color red at some point in your life.

Tune Up - 4G - Calibrate your audio/video setup for the optimal Rock Band 3 experience.
Self-Made Dude or Lady - 5G - Create a Character.
Best. Name. Ever. - 5G - Rename your band.
Well Connected - 6G - Connect your Rock Band 3 Band with rockband.com at http://www.rockband.com.
You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet - 20G - Maintain overdrive for 60 seconds.
Alex's Luggage Combination - 30G - Beat a Rock Band 3 score of 12,345,678.
Hometown Threwdown - 20G - Complete the "Hometown Throwdown" Road Challenge.
Real Nor'easter - 20G - Complete "The Wicked Awesome Tour".
Wilderness Survival - 20G - Complete the "Through the Wilderness, Eh?" Road Challenge.
Party Animal - 20G - Completed the "Total Debauchery" Road Challenge.
Mile High Club - 25G - Complete the "Really Frequent Flyers" Road Challenge.
HOPO-cidal Maniac - 25G - Kill 53,596 Hammer-ons and Pull-offs.
Guitar Apprentice - 20G - 5 Star on Easy Guitar (or 3 Star on a higher difficulty) any 25 Rock Band 3 songs.
Bass Apprentice - 20G - 5 Starred on Easy Bass (or 3 Starred on a higher difficulty) 25 Rock Band 3 songs.
Fastest Feet - 15G - Hit 90% of the Kick notes in a song on Hard Drums.
Drums Apprentice - 20G - 5 Star on Easy Drums (or 3 Star on a higher difficulty) any 25 Rock Band 3 songs.
Vocals Showmanship - 10G - Deploy overdrive four times in a single song as a vocalist.
Tambourine Master - 10G - Hit 100% of the notes in a percussion section.
Vocal Apprentice - 20G - 5 Star on Easy Vocals (or 3 Star on a higher difficulty) any 25 Rock Band 3 songs.
The Endless Setlist III - 50G - Successfully complete "The Endless Setlist III!"
Live Free or Die - 25G - Beat all of the free downloadable songs for Rock Band.
Face Melter - 25G - Melt faces by beating any three '80s Metal songs.

The remaining 670G consists of the other 335Gs from above that'll have you buying-and-learning new peripherals, and yet another 335Gs that also might give you a run for your money (if you have any left, that is).

Millionaire Club - 25G - Get 1,000,000 on one song.
Rock Band Master - 25G - 5 Star on Medium (or 3 Star on a higher difficulty) any 50 Rock Band 3 songs.
Rock Band Legend - 30G - 5 Star every song in Rock Band 3 on Hard.
Rock Band Immortal - 50G - 5 Star every song in Rock Band 3 on Expert.
Hell Defrosted - 25G - Win all rewards on the "Hell Freezes Over" Road Challenge.
Major Mileage - 25G - Get 90 or more spades on "The Long Drive South" Road Challenge.
The Connoisseur's Connoisseur - 25G - Get 90 or more spades on "The European Connoisseur" Road Challenge.
Ultimate Road Warrior - 30G - Win all awards on the "Really Frequent Flyers" Road Challenge.
Bleeding Fingers - 30G - Get 85% on all Guitar Solos in Rock Band 3 on Hard or Expert.
Guitar Perfectionist - 25G - Get 100% accuracy on Expert Guitar.
Bass Streaker - 10G - Get a streak of 500 notes on Bass.
Most Authentic Strummer - 10G - Hit 100% of the notes, only strumming up, on Hard Bass.
Drum Roll, Please! - 10G - Nail a drum roll.
Vocal Virtuoso - 15G - Earn an Awesome rating on at least 90% of the phrases in 6 songs on Hard Vocals.

Some of these are unknowns that might normally be fodder for The Mid rather than The Hard List, but the latter will likely be where the game ends up (like most of its predecessors), thanks in part to the return of Harmonix's least awesome ach from Guitar Hero II: 5 starring every song on expert. You have more instruments, easier charting, and a more forgiving setlist this time around (in my opinion), but overall it's looking like you'll need at least as much capability as you do cash to complete this one.

Preparing for PAX...

2010-09-02T18:49:00.000-07:00

First of many cellphone salutations, buddy, The Beard is headed to Seattle! Land of "PAX" and "not paying for WiFi while I travel"! Look here for every ounce of achievement info I can squeeze out of anybody involved with upcoming games, and keep an eye on Beyond the Beard over at Tumblr.com for many more updates on absolutely anything else. Twitter will also be something of a grab-bag compared to the usual achievement-centric stuff, and each tweet will be fancifully geo-tagged for your geo-pleasure, in case you want to come say "hi" or point and laugh!

PAX is go!

UPDATE: 9/9/2010 - Well, the achievement info wasn't exactly forthcoming over the weekend, but we did get a quick surprise or two from Rock Band 3's achievements... all 1250 points (more on that - NOW!). However, there was no shortage of non-achievement info, which I regularly relegate to your other favorite Beard Blog, of course, so be sure and check there for a video, screenshots, and some great object lessons on why typing things at 1 AM is generally a bad idea.

Gamerscore 2.0

2010-07-27T14:46:00.000-07:00

If there's one thing the world will never be short on it's theories (but that's just a supposition I use to explain the phenomenon), and given the great gains of Microsoft's achievement system it's only common that it command both constructive conjecture and crackpottery alike - so let's begin by lambasting the latter!

First of all, your current score isn't going anywhere. Can you imagine the nerdy uprising that would ensue if Microsoft were to essentially erase everyone's gamerscore? Seattle would be burned to the ground in minutes! Now exactly how your score "isn't going anywhere" could be another matter altogether, but Microsoft isn't really one to rock the boat once they hit on something big, so chances are you'll simply see your score carried right on over to the newest console/system (everything except Bejeweled, of course, because lets face it: it needs to be erased from history at some point). Still, starting from scratch has a certain appeal.

I've heard more than a few gamers express indifference over "hunting" achievements because they're already tens of thousands of points behind "everybody else" out there, and while the competitive aspect of achievements has been thoroughly overplayed, that doesn't mean that evening the playing field wouldn't indeed draw in some new customers, and possibly revitalize some of us war-weary vets out here. So maybe gamerscore ends up being generation specific - one for the 360, and one for the next gen, both ongoing - but that still seems like the least likely scenario.

Regardless of their form from generation to generation, achievements aren't going anywhere, so what are some future features we might finally find?

First of all: completions. Knowingly or not, whoever decided achievements would be permanent effectively fathered a whole mess of OCD children that day, and these completionist kids would love to see the dashboard take care of some of the nerd-work for them. Completion percentage for gamerscore, games, and/or total achievements unlocked would be a nice addition to the simple stat-shot screen I'm going to suggest in the next sentence. Also, we'd need a simple stat-shot screen.

While we're on the subject of stats, let's dream big: progress tracking. Valve, Harmonix, and Epic all built beautiful examples of this into their latest games, so why not institute a standard across all Xbox titles that results in a more informative dashboard, i.e. achievements that show just how close/far I am from unlocking them? Because some developers wouldn't want the required work - that's why not. But hey, a girl can dream.

And dream people have. The question isn't new, so there are plenty of ideas floating around the net:

A separate score for multiplayer achievements
"Dashboard" achievements for attaining certain milestones
Enable achievement icons for use as gamerpics
Dynamic achievements that change based on how you play
Giant solid gold break dancing robots

In any event, I'm sure most of us would like to see something more than just a simple next gen port of the system as it stands, so what are some of your ideas?

Mid-Month Mustering: July

2010-07-16T11:59:00.000-07:00

Ever wondered what things are going to be like in the year 3538? Wonder no more! After a long day of space-work, people will transport back to their home-pods, plug in their brain internets, and be able to read on the history webs that these achievements existed! Then they'll go poop in a toilet... in the future!

Mattering

2010-07-07T15:18:00.000-07:00

It's always been a tricky business to really gauge the appeal of achievements. I'd wager that the majority of gamers view them casually, but positively - that little blip equates to accomplishment, no matter how trivial, and that's something more ingrained into the gamer gestalt than fear of women (or hatred of stereotypes). Most recently, however, there have been a few firsts from achievement land that suggest their following is flourishing...

Demo the Game, Demo the Achievements

Not long after writing the achievement breakdown for Crackdown 2, Ruffian Games broke with tradition and released the Crackdown 2 demo with unlockable achievements - well, sort of. It turns out there was 100 points available that would carry over to the retail release version, giving you a nice 10% head start on the world - the world that didn't also download the demo, anyways... but still!

Wronged, but Not Forgotten

The latest Ghostbusters game had a rough development life, and for a while there it was unsure which part of developer Terminal Reality's name was going to be more appropriate for the troubled title. "Reality" was the answer, thankfully, and while the game reviewed generally well and moved more than a million units, it didn't quite shatter any records, and any completionists that played it soon found themselves curled up in the corner crying uncontrollably - 2 multiplayer ach (20g total) appeared to broken, never to be unlocked. Amazingly, Terminal Reality has since announced a patch for the problem - over a year later! Sure, plenty of pouty pansies out there will whine "about time!" through their stuffy little noses, but I can count on one finger the amount of developers that have gone back to fix flawed achievements after so much time has passed, and that's saying something.

Marvel Ultimate Re-Alliance. Again. For Now.

While some games rely on glitches and closed servers to negate completion, Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 broke the mold of... being broken by completely removing 250 points worth of DLC from the Xbox Live Marketplace - and this time there was no "Gold" or "Game of the Year" edition to fall back on for your 1250/1250. As inexplicably as the content was yanked, however, "HeroHQ" big wig "Kalina" announced that some even bigger wigs had agreed to re-list the DLC until the end of the year, although at the full original fee of 800 Microsoft Points. Hey, a completion is a completion, especially when it's one you had written off long ago.

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As with anything, there's always a tinge of marketing in the mix - demos that unlock achievements, patches that fix games, and re-available, limited-time DLC are all bound to draw in customers, and not just obsessive online dorks with blogs. But the fact that achievements are figuring into the marketing equation, that they are being considered by both developers and a growing amount of fans... is good. Not so much in that we're constantly barraged by said marketers and fanboys, but good in that, you know... it matters.

Mondays are Magical!

2010-06-28T14:48:00.000-07:00

Like what I've done with the place? What can I say, I'm really good at just clicking a bunch of buttons. But that's all over-the-hood (a legitimate phrase as of... now), so here's a couple changes under-the-hood you might enjoy:

Updates every Monday! Okay starting next week! Yeah, this was the plan from the beginning, but you know what they say about plans: I was busy, go away.

Go Beyond the Beard! Get this: I like achievements (who doesn't, right?), but they pale in comparison to some of the impossibly profound stuff going on in gaming nowadays. So The Beard has done what he does best: created a blog where he can use all the big, fruity words his hairy little heart desires.

Another round of updates for the Easy, Mid, and Hard Lists! 2K Games will also help us fatten up the Shut-Down Server list in a couple days, but we'll whine about that later. In any event, AchievementBeard.com now lists almost 300 separate games - not too shabby for someone that looks too shabby!

There you have it - see you on Monday!

I Have No "Under Construction" GIF

2010-06-22T10:15:00.000-07:00

During the growth of any beard there comes a time when you have to do something about all the blank patches and unkempt corners, and for AchievementBeard.com... that time has come. So soon, you say? Well, the site sat on a shelf for some time after its initial design, and towards "launch" it was more important to get things going than to get things perfect. So don't worry - despite repeated efforts, The Beard is actually not dead - he's just had his head under the hood for a couple weeks. Come Monday expect something of a re-design to happen, with a couple new features to boot.

Until then, keep unlocking achievements, and you can always keep an eye on Twitter for up-to-date and professional grade bearding.

:)>

Crackdown 2 Achievement Break Down

2010-06-03T08:36:00.000-07:00

Remember when it took you months to figure out Crackdown was a good game because you were too busy playing the Halo 3 beta? Yeah me neither - borrowed it from a friend just last year. Then maybe you remember when your OCD and ADD happily combined as you collected all those shiny objects called "orbs"? Still nothing? Then instead you probably remember getting fed-up and/or bored with it after the first several hundred of them. Well, the achievements for Crackdown 2 are here, and I'm noticing a theme...

Collectible Collectibles - 280

Yep, a whole 28% of your 1K is going to be straight up looking for stuff, or looking for stuff straight up. To spice it up this time around the team at Ruffian Games has thrown in some "Audio Logs" à la Bioshock, and created the much admired and maligned "Renegade Orb" - a mobile orb that will actually run away from you when you try to collect it (like I don't have this problem enough in real life).

Tellin’ Stories Collect and listen to an Audio Log.	10
Closed Book Collect and listen to every Audio Log in Pacific City.	20
In Plain Sight Find and collect a Hidden Orb.	10
Sixth Sense Find and collect every Hidden Orb in Pacific City.	30
First Rung of the Ladder Find and collect an Agility Orb	10
King of the World Find and collect every Agility Orb in Pacific City.	50
In the Net Catch an Agility Renegade Orb or Driving Renegade Orb.	10
Renegade Runner Find and collect every Renegade Agility Orb in Pacific City.	20
Renegade Racer Find and collect every Renegade Driving Orb in Pacific City.	20

Wingsuit Racer Glide through every Wingsuit Stunt Ring in Pacific City.	20
Stuntman Jump a vehicle through every Vehicle Stunt Ring in Pacific City.	20
LIVE and let LIVE Collect every Online Orb in Pacific City.	10

Solid Block of Orbsome
Find and collect every Agility, Hidden, Renegade and Online Orb in Pacific City.

Story Collectibles - 420

I know I'm verging on semantics here, but it's interesting to think of how much of what we do in video games can often be reduced to just "collecting". Open world games (like Crackdown) are arguably especially susceptible to this, but it's more accurately a staple that spans across every genre the medium has to offer. Seeing as at its core collection is practically a game in its own right, it isn't hard to see why it's a fine fit for gaming in general, but what's going on in our own heads that we as gamers just eat it up every time? Or do we? How much collecting is too much? If Crackdown 2 is anything like Crackdown 1, we just might have an answer.

Whoops, forgot to make that paragraph funny... or did I??

First Hurdle Survive Agent Diagnostics and earn deployment into Pacific City.	20
Get Connected Locate and activate an Absorption Unit, alone or with another Agent.	20
Plugged In Locate and activate every Absorption Unit in Pacific City, alone or with another Agent.	50
Big Bang Oversee the deployment and successful detonation of a Beacon, alone or with another Agent.	20
Hope Springs Savior Detonate every Beacon in Hope Springs, alone or with another Agent.	50

Green Bay Savior Detonate every Beacon in Green Bay, alone or with another Agent.	50
Unity Heights Savior Detonate every Beacon in Unity Heights, alone or with another Agent.	50
Light Bringer Detonate every Beacon in Pacific City, alone or with another Agent.	20
All Under Control Secure all Tactical Locations within one Cell stronghold, alone or with another Agent.	20
Location, Location, Location Secure every Tactical Location in Pacific City for the Agency, alone or with another Agent.	50
Pest Control Clear out and close down a Freak Breach, alone or with another Agent.	10
The Closer Close down every Freak Breach in Pacific City, alone or with another Agent.	20
Tower Power Complete the final phase of Project Sunburst at Agency Tower, alone or with another Agent.	20

Jack of all Trades
Complete one of every objective type in Pacific City.

Déjà Vu Collectibles - 120

Most of the previously listed achievements could also fit here, and while it's understandable (even preferable, for many) that every game have some basic progression, collection, and/or completion achievements, I'm not sure why using the harpoon gun and making 30 things explode merited repeat achievements. Wasn't a big fan of the races in Crackdown 1, either. If only there were some sort of achievement for whining.

Speed Demon Complete a Road or Rooftop Race	10
Street Racer Complete every Road Race in Pacific City.	20
Rooftop Racer Complete every Rooftop Race in Pacific City.	20

Who’s the Daddy?
Develop each of your skills to their maximum levels.

Pin Cushion Use Harpoon Gun to pin 5 enemies to a single vehicle.	10
Bomberman Create 30 explosions in 60 seconds.	10

Developer Collectibles - 180

Now this is where developers and achievements can shine: tasks that take specific advantage of the gametype and gameplay thus providing creative and unique experiences! Not coincidentally this is also where you'll probably find some of the hardest achievements for the game - "Victory Roll" being especially indicative of the luck factor that comes into play.

Pebble Dash From the top of full-height Agency Tower, leap into the chimney stack and live to tell the tale.	10
City Glider Wingsuit glide through the airspace of all islands in Pacific City without touching down.	10
Squad City Glider 4 Agents, Wingsuit-glide through the airspace of all islands in city within 30 secs of leader.	20
Open up a Can Kill 5 enemies with a single gas cylinder.	10
Co-op Keepy-Up Pass a vehicle back and forth between Agents 3x using UV shotguns. Vehicle must not hit the ground.	10
Yippee-Kai-Yay Drive an Agency SUV into an airborne helicopter.	10
Strike! Kill 25 Freaks with thrown objects or vehicles.	10
Victory Roll Alone or with another Agent, kill an enemy with a mounted turret while airborne and upside-down!	10
Mosh Pit Land 20 successful hand-to-hand attacks in a chain. Under 3 secs between attacks to chain them.	10
Scarface Use the minigun to amass 20 enemy kills in a 10 second period.	10
Zero Factor Use a UV weapon to amass 20 Freak kills in a 10 second period.	10
Street Sweeper While driving a vehicle kill 5 enemies in a single power slide.	10

25 Ways to Die Find 25 unique ways to destroy your cloned body.	10
Car Jump Leap from one fast moving vehicle to another.	10
Chopper Stomper Leap from an airborne Agency helicopter and using a Ground Strike, kill at least one enemy.	10
Party Bus Four Agents; one driver and three gunners, on a Battle Bus. Must jump through a Vehicle Stunt Ring.	10
Pile Driver Kill 5 enemies with a single Ground Strike.	10

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You ready, agent??

Dead Drum, Over There...

2010-05-14T19:11:00.000-07:00

How many drum-licks does it take to get to the center of a Rock Band 2 drum kit?

1...

2...

3... million.

Probably more, seeing as even though I was on my second pedal, this was still the original kit that came bundled with my copy of Rock Band 2 on the day it came out - over a year and a half ago. Not bad, Harmonix.

When it happened I looked like a sea lion trying to slap out a song on my magical rubber music maker (which I suppose explains why I was barking), but I figure acting idiotic is pretty much an inevitability at this point so... "mission accomplished"?

Mid-Month Mustering: May

2010-05-14T09:16:00.000-07:00

It seems developers are getting in the habit of pre-releasing the achievements for a game more and more nowadays, and it's not because anyone has been making harassing phone calls to their house at 3am every night. So here's a gamerscore glimpse... into the future!

Alan Wake - May 18th
Alpha Protocol - June 1st
Attack of the Movies 3D - May 18th
Blur - May 25th
Green Day: Rock Band - June 8th
Mafia 2 - August 24th
Naughty Bear - June 22nd
Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands - May 18th
Red Dead Redemption - May 18th
SplitSecond - May 18th
Toy Story 3 - June 15th
Transformers: War for Cybertron - June 22nd
UFC Undisputed 2010 - May 25th

Contributors

2010-05-03T18:57:00.000-07:00

Some people aren't horrible, it's true, and if you don't believe me just check these guys out: they've risked life and limb (or extreme ridicule, at least) to help The Beard maintain his know-it-all delusion by contributing much needed information, so please thank/blame them for all their/your troubles - they are truly Gods among men... with beards.

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Is this itty bitty list too embarrassing for you to even look at? Make it bigger by babbling!

Green Day: Rock Band Achievement Break Down

2010-05-03T12:16:00.000-07:00

June 8th quickly approaches, kids, but don't get your Green Day Wal-Mart boxers in a bunch before remembering: exporting all 47 Green Day RB tracks to your HDD for use in any other Rock Band game will be available on day 1, and since it costs $10 to do so you might as well purchase the $70 "Plus" edition that includes "free" exporting and extra DLC tracks to boot.

And if you're like The Beard you'll be exporting those tracks and selling the game on Ebay quicker than you can say "Dookie" - seeing as the 1K doesn't look all that promising for most... read on...

Business as Usual - 825

This group doesn't raise too many eyebrows for anyone that's picked up a Rock Band game before, especially keeping in mind where no difficulty is specified...

You Had the Time of Your Life Five-star every song in Green Day: Rock Band with any instrument.	50
We’ve Come So Far Earn at least 3 stars on all songs in Green Day: Rock Band with any instrument.	25
It All Keeps Adding Up Score 1,000,000 points in a single song.	20
I Threw My Crutches in the River Earn at least 3 stars on any song in Expert difficulty.	15
Hysteria, Mass Hysteria! Get a Unison Bonus on the listed songs with 2 or more players.	20

Scream at Me Until My Ears Bleed Use Overdrive 100 times as a vocalist.	20
In Good Health and Good Time Earn at least 3 stars on all songs in Green Day: Rock Band as a bassist.	20
Won’t Make It for Dinner Start a new Career and reach the credits within 12 hours as part of a 4-player band.	40
Feel Like They’re Gonna Bleed Play through a setlist of 20 songs without failing.	25

We’re on a Roll, No Self Control Get an 8x Band Multiplier.	10
What’s Left of My Mind Finish any song with Lefty Mode turned on, hitting at least 50% of the notes.	10
American Unity Get all unison bonuses in the song “American Idiot” with 2 or more players.	15
Freaky Monkey Complete Dookie Album Challenge with any instrument.	20
Award-Winning Idiot Five-star every song on the American Idiot album.	25

We’re on a Roll, No Self Control Get an 8x Band Multiplier.	10
What’s Left of My Mind Finish any song with Lefty Mode turned on, hitting at least 50% of the notes.	10
American Unity Get all unison bonuses in the song “American Idiot” with 2 or more players.	15
Freaky Monkey Complete Dookie Album Challenge with any instrument.	20
Award-Winning Idiot Five-star every song on the American Idiot album.	25

Twiddle My Thumbs Just for a Bit
Earn at least 3 stars on “F.O.D.” with each instrument in Solo play.

Your Burning Light
Hit 100% of the notes in the solo of “Whatsername” on Hard or Expert Guitar.

Solo starts at 2:05 (above), sounds like it wouldn't be too bad on hard difficulty...

Blue Get a 95-note streak playing “Last Night On Earth” with the guitar.	15
Rudy’s Can’t Fail Cafe Hit 100% of the notes on “Welcome To Paradise” on medium or higher difficulty bass.	20
Warning: Burning Drums Hit 100% of the drum notes on one of the listed songs.	15

Make the Best of This Test Finish all Challenges (Career owner only).	35
Stage Dive Complete a Challenge in The Warehouse venue.	10
On a Mission Complete a Challenge in the Milton Keynes venue.	10
Stereo in the Static Age Complete a Challenge in The Fox Theater - Oakland Venue.	10
This Is How the West Was Won Earn at least 3 stars on all songs in The Warehouse.	20
Billboard on the Rise Earn at least 3 stars on all songs in Milton Keynes.	20
Another Turning Point Earn at least 3 stars on all songs in The Fox Theater - Oakland.	20

Live Freaky, Die Freaky Complete any Challenge with both of the following: 100% a Guitar solo; 100% a Harmony part.	25
I Walk a Lonely Road Earn at least 3 stars on “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” with each instrument in Solo play.	15
On My Own… Here We Go Score 400,000 points in a single song in solo mode.	35

Provided they do in fact include the whole/extended version of "Jesus of Suburbia" (and I don't see why they wouldn't), 400K should be entirely possible...

Step Up to the Mike & Billie Joe Hit All Double Harmonies on any song.	10
Misleading the Choir Hit All Triple Harmonies on any song.	15
Strong Arm, Billie Joe Earn a Guitar Career score of 1,000,000.	20
Dirnt Dirnt Dirnt Dirnt Earn a Bass Career score of 1,000,000.	20
Sweet Children Earn a Vocal Harmony Career score of 1,000,000.	20
I Play the !@#% Out the Drums Earn a Drum Career score of 1,000,000.	20

Trés Cool
Hit 40 notes in one drum fill.

Frank Edwin Wright III
Complete all the Drum Lessons.

Mud Fight
Complete the listed songs without the crowd meter going red.

Heart-breakers for the Inexperienced (?) - 120

This group has the potential to be a little prohibitive if you're not Rock Band veteran, maybe even some Hard List qualifiers?

Past the Point of Delirium
Hit 100% of the notes in the solo of “Hitchin’ a Ride” on Expert Guitar.

Notice how the achievement description doesn't specifically say "guitar" solo? This actual gameplay footage shows why at 2:00 (above) - cheap shot or a bearable blow?

Louder Than Bombs and Eternity
Hit 100% of the drum kick notes for “Brain Stew / Jaded” on Expert.

Expert difficulty will be your only choice with this achievement, and while the "Brain Stew" beginning might not be that bad for seasoned drummers, the "Jaded" segment (starting at 3:30 above) is another story - the team from the actual gameplay footage above fails out precisely because of it. Know anybody that plays bass pedal? Only?

Pacemaker
Earn at least 3 stars on “Peacemaker” on Expert Bass.

Again, expert difficulty only, and while the chord progression is pretty simple, any non-alt strummers out there might have to learn a new technique for this rolling bass line - still, it's only for 3 stars...

Ability to Operate Machinery
100% the Guitar Solo in “Jesus Of Suburbia” using only finger tapping on Hard or Expert.

No doubt they're referring to the solo at 7:50 and not 3:42 (above), and while hard difficulty is an option this time, anything other than finger tapping is not.

It’s Fun Until Someone Gets Hurt
Play “Longview” on Hard or Expert Bass, playing all hammer-ons and pull-offs without strumming.

Nice to see the option for playing on hard difficulty (unlike the HOPO (hammer-on, pull-off) ach for The Beatles: RB), but seeing as every other note sounds like a HOPO for the bassist here it could still be a challenge.

Wild Cards - 125

We don't quite have all the info we need to judge these ach yet, but we can make some pretty educated guesses...

Not Growing Up, Just Burning Out
Earn at least 3 stars on the listed songs on Expert Vocals.

Green Day vocals are usually pretty melodically straight forward, and the ability to have multiple singers at once will help even more, but we'll reserve judgment until we see the songs...

St. Jimmy Get Gold stars on the listed songs.	35
I Got a Rock ‘n Roll Girlfriend Get Gold stars on the listed songs.	35

The gold star achievements are back, and while they were possibly easier than expected in The Beatles: RB, Green Day songs are decidedly more complicated - these could be tough...

A Very Troubled Youngster
Complete all of Tré’s Greatest Hits.

The Beard is willing to bet that "Tre's Greatest Hits" are Green Day: RB's answer to "Beatle Beats" i.e. band specific drum lessons featuring beats that occur and recur in Green Day songs. While no difficulty is specified, the corresponding Beatles: RB achievement would not unlock unless all beats were completed at 100% speed. I'd expect the same to be true here, and I'd expect it to be hard...

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Soooo, what do you think?

Achievements are the Most Important Thing Ever

2010-04-30T10:36:00.000-07:00

Relax, they're not. Still, almost anytime a similar site is spawned it's always accompanied by the critic's cry: "They're just a bunch of useless numbers, you know." Yes, we know. Direction and design, novelty and narrative, culture and commentary - games have never had so much going for them, so much worthy of appreciation - and we have the gall to go out and like achievements? That's right, 'cuz we're loners, Dottie, REBELS.

So here's what to expect:

General Tips - Not sure where to start? Not too sharp, are you?

The Easy List - Interested in renting games for some quick and easy points? You masochist, you.

The Mid List - Tired of the question/insult explanation format? You're dumb! Okay, sorry - The Mid List is home to the majority of games out there - nothing that you can 1K in 1 sitting, but nothing that will slowly sap your humanity for months at a time, unlike...

The Hard List - Broken achievements, shut-down servers, impossible completions, and just plain loooooong and/or difficult achievements, The Hard List is rough journey for only the most admirably dedicated and/or depressingly damaged gamer - only you can decide.

The Shut-Down Server List - Also known as "EA vs. 2K: Who Will Win?" Answer: we lose. These games are no longer playable online, making some of their achievements completely impossible.

Glossary - Kind of like a dictionary only without the "diction", but still with the "ary", and with no actual "gloss" involved. Words, people, words.

Contact - Check me out kids, I'm hip! I got the tweeters and the facebooks, and you can even send freemails and chatters to my webnets! I'm 83 years-old.

That's it for the core of the site, otherwise you can keep a bearded eye open for weekly ramblings, and up to the minute tweets on the latest achievement releases and their difficulty, wherever The Beard may find them.

Welcome to AchievementBeard.com!

Glossary

2010-03-25T11:50:00.000-07:00

The AchievementBeard Glossary is always a work in progress people, contact to contribute!
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1K (1King, 1Ks, 1Ked) - 1000, as in all 1000 achievement points of any given game. The "K" comes from "kilo" which comes from the Greek word "χίλιοι" which comes from taping pencils to a chicken's feet and feeding him a lot of cocaine.

Ach - The best way to abbreviate "achievement" without sounding like a 13 year-old girl or mental patient e.g. "cheev", "cheevo", "cheevy cheevies oh-em-geevy!!!"

Boosting - When laziness meets OCD, boosting is born - well, sometimes. Other times you're stuck playing a game with online ach after the community has long since died, so naturally you gather up comparably plighted people and take turns killing each other. It's great!

Completionist - Never content with anything but 100%, the completionist shudders at the sound of words like "Quake 4" or "G.R.A.W.", and will typically go out of his way to maintain his high completion percentage - even murder...ously long gaming sessions!

Exploit - Initially thought to be a new bodily function discovered by fraternity scientists, an exploit is actually a lovely little loophole in any given game that allows you to bend the rules a bit, possibly providing 1 or 2 unlocked achievements along the way...

Gamesaver - Imagine if you could start a game at any point just before an achievement is about to unlock. Great. Now imagine you play for however many seconds until... achievement unlocked! Now imagine you're a cheater. Image complete!

Grinder - Much like its cosmic equivalent, the black hole, a grinder is an excessively time-consuming achievement that uses months upon months of repetition to suck every last bit of life and relevant thought from your mushy little brain just before causing your Xbox to Red Ring.

Second Profile Glitch (SPG, SPGer, SPGing) - Similar to gamesaving (in that it's unmistakeably cheating), profile glitchers skip the whole "earning" part of unlocking achievements by mooching off a "second profile" that already has the ach they want.

------------------------------------------------------------
If there's a word missing from the glossary, it's because you haven't yet sent it to The Beard!

Bombarded by Beard

2010-03-05T15:41:00.000-08:00

That's right, mail now comes in a special "E" version! So fire up that Epen and write achievementbeard@gmail.com in that receiver's square, because surely that's what all those things are called. And don't forget to attach pictures of your beautiful beards - and I'm not just talking to the ladies.

That's right,face now comes in a special "book" version (hey it's not my fault they didn't call it Eface - they've lost millions). What I can only assume started out as an underpowered Farmville engine has since grown into a huge place where you can "like" and become "a fan" of things!

Whenever you're not too busy ROFLing or BRBing you should try this more ADD friendly version of e-stalking called Tweeter (or something)! Not only will you get to hear about the most recent developments in achievement land (which actually isn't the name of the latest island the Japanese are building), you'll also be privy to the poorest puns that lack-of-money can buy!

Well aren't you the chatty kathy! If you've got something against Gtalk and Facebook chat you can always try AOL Instant Messenger (AIM for all you acronym-loving goofs out there) at the painfully obvious username of "AchievementBeard".

Be beardly, now.

Easy, Mid, Hard, and Server Lists Updated! Actual Launch Immenent!

2010-02-04T14:32:00.000-08:00

The Beard builds! Creating content takes time, mien freunds, but very soon the last two pieces will be assembled and something resembling an official launch will take place. Then you'll be treated daily-to-weekly updates - everything from info on upcoming games and achievements to the patented pretentious prattle you've come to expect from someone with so much facial hair. Until then enjoy the numerous additions to all four game lists, and go get some points!

General Tips

2009-10-16T19:28:00.000-07:00

You may think achievements are essentially just a bunch of ones and zeroes, but then how do you explain all the other numbers? Because achievements are like Transformers: there's more than meets the eye... and nobody's made any palatable movies about them yet. So here's what The Beard has found will dependably deliver the most points the quickest, and for the least amount of money.

Cash-chievement Unlocked!

The higher your score gets, the more you'll start to realize one simple fact: ach = cash. Your first reaction may be to sell all your worldly possessions and start a life of crime and prostitution to pay for your dirty habit, but there's actually an easier way!

Rent Your Games - Renting is almost always cheaper than buying, but you still have a couple options. At the top of the list is Gamefly - $15.95 a month and 1 game at a time is mailed right to your door, and if you stick to The Easy List you should be able to 1K about 4 games a month. Your Gamefly game-flow depends on 2 things: how far you live from the nearest Gamefly shipping hub, and the availability of the game itself - so don't fill up your "Q" with a bunch of new releases or you'll end up waiting more than playing. In the end, you want to make sure you're getting at least 3 games a month, otherwise you're probably not getting your money's worth. If that sounds like too much time or money, or if it's a game that takes a bit longer to complete (e.g. The Mid List), then you might want to check out your local Blockbuster - if they still subscribe to their "no late fees" policy (many no longer do). If so, you can essentially hold onto the game for almost an entire month for usually under $10. Blockbuster's "Gamepass" is also an option, but at $21.99 a month you'll have to play at least 4 games a month to get your money's worth, so you might as well go with Gamefly since it's cheaper and has a better selection of games anyways (upgrade to Gamefly's 2 games-at-a-time plan if you just gotta spend 20 bucks a month somehow).
Buy Used Games - Simple rule: if the game's achievements are going to own you, then you might as well own the game first. Ebay will usually be the cheapest if you don't mind a little extra time and attention to detail (trustworthy seller, fair shipping charges, etc), but every now and then your local Gamestop/EB Games is useful for more than just marveling at their underpaid yet inexplicably obsequious employees. Their "buy 2 get 1" used game sales happen often enough that you just have to wait until the next one, enter the store, fend off the guy at the counter, and find the "discount" bin. At the risk of sounding like The Beard works for the freaking company, Gamefly comes in handy with used games too! Since you're already paying a monthly fee, and you earn stackable coupons the longer you're a member, you can often end up getting older used titles for as low as $2.50 and free shipping - hard to beat that.
Sell Your Old Games - Unless you're some kind of boxer or UFC hot-shot, your retinas are probably still attached to an undamaged brain, so you may have noticed the word "Sell" and not "Trade-In". Trading in games is hardly ever a good deal, period - why do you think they want you to trade them in in the first place? Unfortunately, your alternative options are quite limited - the best of which is probably Ebay. Sure, it's more work than just handing your game over to the guy across the counter, but Ebay will put more cash in your hand every single time.
Played by the Arcade? - The Xbox Live Arcade is a wonderful thing - where else can you buy great games and easy points without even bothering to put your clothes on? Okay besides Wal-Mart? When it comes to achievement points, however, the Arcade has a distinct disadvantage: you can end up paying relatively more money for less achievement points that take just as long or longer to unlock than a regular retail game. Not only that, but you're left with nothing to trade-in or re-sell when you're done. Even if it's just 10 bucks for a quick 200 points, that same 10 bucks could easily buy a quick 1K from Ebay or your local used-game bargain bin. In a sentence: XBLA can be great for games, but poor for points.

Clear Your Cache

Ever say yes to that "update" or "patch" for a game only to find out later that it killed your mother? Me neither, but sometimes it does something really inconvenient and removes a glitch or exploit that would otherwise help you unlock achievements! The Beard can't bring your mother back to life (YET), but he can tell you how to erase that update!

Exit to the Xbox dashboard, go to the "My Xbox" channel and scroll all the way to the right and select "System Settings". After that scroll down to and select "Memory", then highlight the drive you use for everything (usually your HDD) and hit the Y button. At the very bottom of the list is "Clear System Cache" - congrats, you can navigate a menu. Now next time you stick in the game just say NO to the update!

NOTE: This will NOT erase any of your saved games or important data, nor cause your Xbox to become sentient and commit suicide (because seriously, what else would it do). You won't be able to connect to Xbox Live while playing an un-patched game, but you'll have access to whatever ach-helping exploit was eliminated! Otherwise just re-boot the game and accept the update - boom, everything's back to normal.

There you have it, my bearded brothers and sisters - can't you just feel the points waiting to be unlocked?

The Shut-Down Server List

2009-10-13T10:16:00.000-07:00

Apparently, some game-makers were upset with their limited options for releasing broken achievements, so they came up with this fabulous way to make achievements impossible after you've paid for the game! EA gets a lot of guff for this (that's right, guff), but 2K Sports is even worse: more server closures, sooner, and without warning. Some of these games can still be completed, and most are good for some quick points, but all of them will give you a dirty look for even trying to choose that "Xbox Live" option on the menu. (Note: an asterisk (*) denotes games where the achievements have been unaffected by server closure so the game can still be completed.)

Xbox 360 Arcade Games

Live Score Tracker
Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3

Xbox 360 Retail Games

Army of Two
Battlefield 2: Modern Combat
BIGS, The*
Chromehounds
College Hoops 2K6*
College Hoops 2K7
College Hoops 2K8
DEF JAM: ICON
Facebreaker
Fantasy Football 09
FIFA World Cup 2006*
FIFA 08
FIFA 09
Godfather, The*
Lord of the Rings: Battle for Middle Earth 2
Lord of the Rings: Conquest
Madden NFL 06*
Madden NFL 07
Madden NFL 08*
Madden NFL 09*
MLB 2K6*
MLB 2K7
MLB 2K8
MLB 2K9*
NASCAR 08
NASCAR 09
NBA 2K6*
NBA 2K7
NBA 2K8
NBA 2K9
NBA Live 06
NBA Live 07
NBA Street Homecourt (2007)
NCAA Basketball 10
NCAA Football 2007*
NCAA Football 2010
NCAA March Madness 07
Need for Speed Most Wanted*
NFL Tour*
NHL 07
NHL 2K6*
NHL 2K7
NHL 2K8
NHL 2K9
Simpsons, The*
Skate
Tiger Woods PGA Tour 06
Tiger Woods PGA Tour 07
Tiger Woods PGA Tour 08
Tiger Woods PGA Tour 09
Tiger Woods PGA Tour 10
UEFA Champions League 07

* Server has been shut-down, but all achievements can still be completed

Any games missing or mistaken? Be beardly and broadcast it!

The Hard List

2009-10-10T14:03:00.000-07:00

Completionists beware (and not just because "completionist" technically isn't a word)! Ever notice how pressing the "A" button is really easy, but pressing it a million times is really repetitive, boring, and uninspired gameplay? If so then congratulations, looks like you're smarter than the guys that made some of the achievements for these games! To be fair, some of the games are still great (Rock Band!!), and some of the achievements are just plain difficult rather than stupidly time consuming - but some are soul-sucking monstrosities that will leaving you regretting the mind-numbing multiple months and/or years you spent playing them. I've also included any games with completely broken/glitched achievements (✖), as well as those from the Shut-Down Server List (**) - in both cases completion is now literally impossible. You have been warned!

Xbox Live Arcade Games

Battlestar Galactica
Bejeweled 2
Call of Duty Classic
Geometry Wars Evolved
Hexic HD
Live Score Tracker**
Luxor 2
Mr. Driller Online*
Pinball FX††
Robotron 2084*
Street Fighter II Hyper Fighting*
Smash TV✖
Switchball
Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3**
Zuma

Xbox 360 Retail Games

Army of Two**
Battlefield 2: Modern Combat**
Beatles: Rock Band, The
Bomberman: Act Zero*
Call of Duty 3*
Call of Duty: World at War*†
Cars Race-O-Rama✖
Chromehounds**
College Hoops 2K7**
College Hoops 2K8**
Culdcept Saga*
Dance Dance Revolution Universe
Dance Dance Revolution Universe 2
Dance Dance Revolution Universe 3✖
Dead or Alive 4*
Dead or Alive Xtreme 2
Devil May Cry 4
DEF JAM: ICON**
Facebreaker**
Fantasy Football 09**
FIFA 08**
FIFA 09**
Final Fantasy XI*†
Gears of War*†
Gears of War 2*†
Ghostbusters✖
Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter
Green Day: Rock Band
Guitar Hero 2
Guitar Hero 3*
Guitar Hero: Van Halen
Hellboy 2: Science of Evil✖
Lord of the Rings: Battle for Middle Earth 2**
Lord of the Rings: Conquest**
Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2††
MLB 2K7**
MLB 2K8**
Monster Madness*
Moto GP 06*
Naruto: Rise of a Ninja✖
NASCAR 08**
NASCAR 09**
NBA 2K7**
NBA 2K8**
NBA 2K9**
NBA Live 06**
NBA Live 07**
NBA Live 09✖
NBA Street Homecourt (2007)**
NCAA Basketball 10**
NCAA Football 10**
NCAA March Madness 07**
Need for Speed Carbon✖
Need for Speed Pro Street✖
NHL 07**
NHL 2K7✖**
NHL 2K8✖**
NHL 2K9**
Perfect Dark Zero*
Power Gig
Quake 4*
Race Driver: GRID✖
Rapala Tournament Fishing✖
Rayman Raving Rabbids✖
Ridge Racer 6*
Rock Band*
Rock Band 3*†
Rumble Roses XX
Skate**
Spider-Man 3
Tiger Woods PGA Tour 06**
Tiger Woods PGA Tour 07**
Tiger Woods PGA Tour 08**
Tiger Woods PGA Tour 09**
Tiger Woods PGA Tour 10**
Tom Clancy's EndWar✖
Tony Hawk's Project 8*
Tony Hawk's Proving Ground*
UEFA Champions League 07**

* requires online play for completion
** requires online play but the servers have been closed, completion is impossible
† requires downloadable content (DLC) from Xbox Live for completion
†† DLC has been removed from marketplace, completion is impossible
✖ one or more achievements are broken, completion is impossible

Also: The Easy List -- The Mid List

The Mid List

2009-10-09T14:19:00.000-07:00

What, you don't like easy games? Tired of it looking like your 5 year-old son or daughter has been playing games on your account? Fair enough, here's a list of games with achievements that take a bit more skill and/or time to complete than those on The Easy List, but not so hard you feel compelled to confirm the link between video games and real world violence. These games could take anywhere from a couple weeks to a few months to complete - either way it's long enough that you might want to consider buying instead of renting.

Xbox Live Arcade Games

AC/DC Live: Rock Band Track Pack
Aegis Wing (free!)*
Banjo Kazooie
Braid
Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
Catan*
Contra*
Dead Rising 2: Case West*
Dead Rising 2: Case Zero*
Doom*
Duke Nukem 3D*
Frogger*
Gauntlet*
Jewel Quest
Limbo
Marathon: Durandal*†
Pac-Man
Paperboy*
Shadow Complex
Sneak King
Soltrio Solitaire*
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1989 Arcade*
Tetris Splash*
Texas Hold'em*
Undertow*

Xbox 360 Retail Games

50 Cent: Blood on the Sand*
Amped 3
Assassin's Creed
Assassin's Creed II
Batman: Arkham Asylum
Batman: Arkham Asylum GOTY Edition
Beautiful Katamari*†
Bionicle Heroes
BioShock
Blacksite: Area 51*
Bourne Conspiracy, The
Brothers In Arms: Hell's Highway*
Bully
Burnout Revenge*
Call of Duty 2
Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2
Call of Juarez*
Conan
Condemned: Criminal Origins
Condemned 2: Bloodshot*
Crackdown*†
Darkness, The*
Dark Sector*
Dead Rising
Dead Rising 2*
Dead Space
Dynasty Warriors 5: Empires
Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard
Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, The†
Enchanted Arms
Enslaved†
Fable II*†
Fallout 3†
Force Unleashed, The*†
Full Auto*
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter 2*†
Godfather, The†
Guitar Hero 5*
Gun
Halo 3*†
Halo 3: ODST*
Halo: Reach*†
Hitman: Blood Money
Hot Wheels: Beat That!
Incredible Hulk, The
Just Cause
Just Cause 2
Kinect Adventures* (k)
Kinectimals (k)
L.A. Noire†
Left 4 Dead*†
Left 4 Dead 2*†
Legendary*
LEGO Batman
LEGO Indiana Jones
LEGO Star Wars II
LEGO Star Wars: The Complete Saga*
Lips†
Marvel vs. Capcom 3*
Marvel: Ultimate Alliance (Gold Edition)
Need for Speed: Most Wanted
Ninety-Nine Nights
Orange Box, The*
Outfit, The*
Portal 2*
Prey*
Prince of Persia†
Quantum of Solace*
Rainbow Six: Vegas 2
Rock Band 2*
Scene It? Box Office Smash!*†
Scene It? Bright Lights! Big Screen!
Silent Hill: Homecoming
Simpsons Game, The
Skate 2*†
Spider-Man: Web of Shadows
Splinter Cell Conviction*†
Splinter Cell Double Agent*
Star Trek Legacy*
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed†
Stuntman: Ignition*
Tetris Evolution*
Thrillville: Off the Rails
Tomb Raider: Legend†
Tomb Raider: Anniversary
Tomb Raider: Underworld†
Tony Hawk's American Wasteland
Two Worlds
Velvet Assassin
Viva Piñata
Viva Piñata: Trouble In Paradise*
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
You're In the Movies

* requires help with online achievements for completion
† requires downloadable content (DLC) from Xbox Live for completion
(k) requires Kinect

Also: The Easy List -- The Hard List

The Easy List

2009-10-07T13:20:00.000-07:00

The Beard wants you all to know that there's a fine line between an achievement that's difficult, and one that's merely time consuming - and this is where he draws it. All the games you see listed below can be completed anywhere from 2 minutes (helloooo Avatar!) to roughly 15 hours (maybe 1 to 3 days of “casual” playing). If you’ve read the General Tips page already, these are the games I'd recommend regularly renting from Gamefly in order to get your money’s worth (completing about 4 or 5 of them a month). All of these have been verified by The Beard himself, but the page is constantly being updated so feel free to throw in your own 2 cents - seriously, he needs the money.

Xbox Live Arcade Games

3 on 3 NHL Arcade
3D Ultra Minigolf Adventures*
After Burner Climax
Altered Beast*
Assault Heroes
Big Bumpin'*
Bomberman LIVE*
Carcassonne*
Crystal Quest
Dash of Destruction (free!)
Dig Dug
Galaga
Golden Axe*
Happy Tree Friends: False Alarm
Hardwood Hearts*
Harm's Way* (free!)
New Rally-X
Secret of Monkey Island: Special Edition, The
Shinobi
Sonic the Hedgehog
Sonic the Hedgehog 2*
Sonic the Hedgehog 3
Pac-Man Championship Edition
Pac-Man Championship Edition DX
Pocketbike Racer*
Portal: Still Alive
UNO*
UNO RUSH
Wolfenstein 3D
Worms*
X-Men Arcade

Xbox 360 Retail Games

Alone in the Dark
Avatar: TLA: TBE
Backyard Football
Band Hero*
Bee Movie Game
Beowulf
Blazing Angels
Brave: A Warrior's Tale
Cabela's Alaskan Adventure
Cabela's Big Game Hunter 2008
Cabela's Outdoor Adventures 2010
Cabela's Safari
Cabela's Trophy Bucks
Cars
Cars: Mater National
Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Civil War
Civil War: Secret Missions
Clive Barker's Jericho
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
College Hoops 2K6
CSI: Deadly Intent
CSI: Hard Evidence
CSI: Fatal Conspiracy
Darkest of Days
Disney's Bolt
Disney Sing It
Eragon
Fantastic Four: ROTSS
FIFA Street 3*†
Fight Night Round 3
Frontlines: Fuel of War*
Fuzion Frenzy 2*
Godfather II, The
Golden Compass, The
Hannah Montana
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
History Channel: Civil War
History Channel: Civil War: Secret Missions
Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs
Iron Man
Iron Man 2
Jericho
Jumper: Griffin's Story
Jurassic: The Hunted
King Kong
Kung Fu Panda
Legend of Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon
LEGO Indiana Jones 2
Lost: Via Domus
Mad Karts of Madagascar
Madden NFL 06
Madden NFL 08
Madden NFL 09
Meet the Robinsons
MLB 2K6
Monsters vs. Aliens
Monopoly
MorphX
My Horse and Me 2
NBA 2K6
NCAA March Madness 08*
NHL 2K6
Night at the Museum 2
Open Season
Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End
Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands
Rapala Fishing Frenzy 2009
Saw
Scene It: Lights Camera Action
Secret Service
Shaun White Snowboarding*
Shellshock 2: Blood Trails
Sherlock Holmes vs. Jack the Ripper
Shrek Forever After
Shrek the Third
Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection
Space Chimps
Spider-Man: Friend or Foe
Spiderwick Chronicles
Spongebob: Truth or Square
Star Wars: The Clone Wars: Republic Heroes
Superman Returns
Surf’s Up
Terminator: Salvation
TMNT (The Movie Game)
Transformers: The Game
Trivial Pursuit
Truth or Lies
UP
Viking
Viva Piñata: Party Animals*
WALL•E
Wanted: Weapons of Fate
Where the Wild Things Are
WWE Legends of WrestleMania
WWE Smackdown vs Raw 2010
X-Men: The Official Game

* requires help with online achievements for completion to remain "easy"
† requires downloadable content (DLC) from Xbox Live for completion

Also: The Mid List -- The Hard List

The Beard Is Born...

2009-09-30T10:11:00.000-07:00

Like the tiniest of bearded babies, we take our first shaky steps onto the net.

For the formative phase that follows, The Beard is going to do his best to break it down, and possibly even keep it real™ in the process. For you, the word-viewer, this means a few things:

Both unreal and real-time info and advice from the best in the business - when it comes to Beards knowing things about achievements, he's #1!
Tons of unsolicited rants and jabbers from a guy that probably likes video games a little too much to not be considered socially awkward in most situations! All delivered in third person with The Beard's trademarked sense of sass and smarm!
Words! Lots of words!

So keep a bearded-eye out for upcoming gifts of guidance regarding garnering gamerscore for games both new and old alike, and before you know it we'll be tentatively toddling our way into your jaded little hearts :).