Achievement [Psyche] Unblocked!

It was July 2006, Daniel Powter was all the rage, fraternities everywhere wouldn't stop talking like Borat, and I had just rented my ninth Xbox game (ever) in the hopes of unlocking some more of these "achievements" I was beginning to enjoy so much. The game was Human Head/3D Realms' Prey, and I was quickly becoming annoyed with all the gameplay they had placed between me and my precious points. Even the scant day-and-a-half it took me to sail through all 1000 gamerscore was apparently too much, seeing as I returned the game with so much force that Blockbusters everywhere have been going out of business ever since.

A couple days later I received the latest issue of [Popular Gaming Publication!] in the mail, and opened up to find Prey plastered with their "Game of the Month" award. Sure, it was a slow month for games (it was either Prey or Chromehounds, for Pete's sake), but the more I thought about it the more I realized that my rabid achievement hunting had seriously screwed my appreciation of a decent game - and the achievements weren't even that bad! For me, it was an experience that defined the dark side of playing for points, and it's a definition that has stuck with me ever since. Not surprisingly, it's also the type of thing that many gamemakers have become overtly concerned with this generation.

Way back in March you may remember hearing about one such gamemaker, indie developer Chris Hecker, whose talk from GDC drew from budding research that suggests being extrinsically rewarded for completing tasks may actually diminish the task itself. In other words: exactly what I had experienced while earning achievements ("extrinsic reward") for playing Prey ("diminished task"). Hecker et al. argue that "intrinsic motivation" is the real goal for designers, and that taking away from such can lead to crappy games and "repetitive, dull tasks." They're absolutely right, but I don't think the player is positively powerless in this equation. It might take a conscious decision after some genuine reflection, but the mistake I made back in 2006 is very avoidable.

Which is why I find it at least a little funny when achievements as a whole are met with disdain, shame, or even hostility at times. Yes, they should never overshadow anything as possibly profound as gameplay or narrative, but they have their place. Haven't things like scoring and "leaderboards" been a part of gaming since the beginning? Even when the most sublime game succeeds in surpassing the sum of its parts it's not despite being a game (i.e. interactive), it's wholly because of it. Every game is different, of course, and there are far more gray areas than even I have alluded to, but ultimately I say playing for points and appreciation are not mutually exclusive endeavors.

So to all you closet achievement lovers out there, wherever you may be, I say stand tall and shout loudly, "I'm coming out of the closet, right now!" Don't worry, everyone will assume you're referring to achievements, and you'll make a bunch of new friends afterwards!

On Cheating

This one comes mostly from the vault, which is what we're going to call anywhere else The Beard has refused to shut-up (including the supermarket) over the course of his illustrious life. Not much has changed about cheating since it was invented, though, so this should still make some sense. Some.

Acheatments Unlocked!

Some of you are already thinking: why even care? Don't worry, I get that a lot. The Care Bears care, get over it, you're probably not the Care Police anyways (they're pretty busy with that Mosque thing right now). This is the internet, where people inexplicably care about things™. At the very least, it shouldn't be too hard for anyone that's ever played a game before to figure out why cheating might ruffle some people's feathers. So here are some of the arguments I hear most often:

It's Just a Meaningless Number Anyways

Ever notice how what's "meaningful" changes from person to person? Sure, you can't buy anything with gamerscore, you can't typically trade it for anything, and most people (maybe even most gamers) don't even care that it exists - but is that all it takes to be "meaningful"? Have you ever tried to play a card or board game with your friends or family wherein you all accrue a bunch of meaningless points? Try adding a bunch of points to your score outside the rules of the game, see how well that goes over (if anybody gets upset, relax, just remember to tell them it doesn't matter).

I've even heard some gamesavers use this reasoning themselves, as if they weren't the ones cheating to raise their scores in the first place. The truth is both parties care about that meaningless number, one just feels the need to justify their methods.

Cheaters are Still "Achieving" Something

Sure why not - it's true, isn't it? There are actually more than a few instances out there where cheating requires quite a bit of admirable ability, even cheating at gamerscore probably entails some above average computer skills or something, but if that's all that matters then why not say so? Why not put "great at gamesaving" or "proficient profile glitcher" somewhere on your profile? Well, because some people need more validation than others, and having a high gamerscore is just another way of getting it, whether they deserve it or not (really, it's bad enough when people with legitimate gamerscores do this).

It Doesn't Affect Anybody but Me

It's always good to keep things in perspective, and regardless of who and how many of us care about achievements... they're just achievements, and cheating to obtain them definitely isn't sending anybody home with broken bones or shattered psyches. Having said that, nobody exists in a vacuum (because they're really small), especially when it comes to video games nowadays. Even within gaming, gamerscore has an inherently heavy social aspect all on its own. Think back to my previous example, would your cheating really not affect any of the other players? At best it might just devalue the game, but at worst it can taint the entire community.

It's My Gamertag, I Can Do Whatever I Want

As with so many things, this is what it all comes down to: choice. Of course you can "do whatever you want", and that's something that nobody can truly take away from you, just as I can get unnecessarily serious about this and nobody can stop me. At the end of the day, though, people will dislike us for different reasons: I'll be "the obsessive achievement dork that should really get a life", but you'll be "the cheater." If you're fine with that, great, then be up front about it. If it's something you hide so as to look awesome to the unwitting, then you really might want to reevaluate a couple things before moving on. That, or you could start a blog about it to showcase your personality disorder - works for me!

Sincerely,

Dr. Beard, PhD.

PAY to K: Rock Band 3 Achievement Break Down

Achievements often walk that fine line between amusement and marketing, between game and gimmick, usually depending on who's at the helm. I've always held Harmonix in high regard when it comes to achievements, despite some repetition across titles they've generally come up with fun, inventive (albeit some very difficult) stuff that goes beyond the "afterthought" treatment that many developers seem to adopt. At first glance the achievements for Rock Band 3 look more like familiar fun than selling strategy (repetition does beget familiarity, after all), but a closer look makes at least one thing clear: this completion isn't going to cost some cash.

Peripherals for Points - 500G

• Keys Streaker - 15G - Get a streak of 350 notes on Keys.
• Keys Apprentice - 20G - 5 Star on Easy Keys (or 3 Star on a higher difficulty) any 25 Rock Band 3 songs.
• Pro Bass Apprentice - 20G - 5 Star on Easy Pro Bass (or 3 Star on a higher difficulty) any 25 Rock Band 3 songs.
• Drum Trainer Initiate - 15G - Complete the introductory Pro Drum Trainer lessons.
• Drum Trainer Graduate - 30G - Complete the final Pro Drum Trainer lessons.
• Play a Real Guitar Already! - 15G - Play "The Hardest Button to Button" on Pro Guitar.
• Pro Guitar to the Max - 15G - Max out your Score Multiplier meter on Pro Guitar.
• Power Chords - 15G - Complete the "Power Chords" lessons in the Pro Guitar trainer.
• Complex Chords - 25G - Complete the "More Chord Holding and Arpeggiation" Pro Guitar lessons.
• Pro Guitar Apprentice - 20G - 5 Star on Easy Pro Guitar (or 3 Star on a higher difficulty) any 25 Rock Band 3 songs.
• Pro Keyboardist - 15G - Hit at least 90% of the notes in 3 songs on Expert Pro Keys.
• Pro Keys Graduate - 25G - Complete the final Pro Keys trainers.
• Pro Keys to the Max - 15G - Max out your Score Multiplier meter on Pro Keys.
• Pro Keys Apprentice - 20G - 5 Star on Easy Pro Keys (or 3 Star on a higher difficulty) any 25 Rock Band 3 songs.
• Triple Awesome - 10G - Get a Triple Awesome while playing with Vocal Harmonies.
• Is This Just Fantasy? - 25G - Hit all triple awesomes in "Bohemian Rhapsody" on Medium or a higher difficulty.
• Downloader - 20G - Play a downloaded song.
• Mercurial Vocalist - 30G - Earn 5 stars on Vocals on a downloaded Queen song.
• Fistful of Awesome - 15G - Beat 5 downloaded songs.
• Accountant's Dozen - 15G - Beat 12 downloaded songs.
• Decent Collection - 15G - Beat 20 downloaded songs.
• I Want It All - 15G - Play a downloaded Queen song.
• Shameless Self-Promotion - 15G - Download and play three songs from a band that has Harmonix team members in it.
• Just Another Band Out of Boston - 15G - 5 Star any Boston song.
• Dave Grohl Band - 30G - Beat 5 songs from any band that has had Dave Grohl as a member.
• The Perfect Drug - 30G - Get a 200 note streak on "The Perfect Drug".

In addition to the game, these 500 points will cost you 3 more cymbals, 2 more microphones, a pro guitar, a keyboard, and a bit of DLC - and that's assuming you've previously purchased a full setup (guitar, mic, drums) already. To be fair, this really isn't anything out of the ordinary: Harmonix has worked hard to create what looks like a great game, and the achievements necessarily reflect the latest innovations this iteration has to offer - it's the same with any game, sequel or not. What's more, DLC achievements are just that, achievements for DLC (I'm actually glad to see Harmonix finally take advantage of the DLC option, although I'm a little disappointed it didn't happen 3 or 4 months from now when Rock Band 3's setlist will be sounding a little... played). I'm sure I'll come up with 483,256 more "legitimate" reasons to spend the money once the game comes out, but that won't change the fact that it'll be the most expensive 1250 points ever launched.

We Get It, You're Poor, But Are They Difficult?

If you do end up spending the money, Dave Grohl Band (30), Just Another Band Out of Boston (15), Shameless Self-Promotion (15), I Want It All (15), Decent Collection (15), Accountant's Dozen (15), Fistful of Awesome (15), Downloader (20), Triple Awesome (10), and Drum Trainer Initiate (15) will also probably be a pretty painless 165G, along with the 415G below - that's 580G with a bit of time and minimal practice. Some notable concessions include merely "completing" the Endless Setlist III (no Platinum Artist this time around), just earning 3 stars for (essentially just passing) songs if you're not playing on easy, and a few more for basically just having learned the color red at some point in your life.

• Tune Up - 4G - Calibrate your audio/video setup for the optimal Rock Band 3 experience.
• Self-Made Dude or Lady - 5G - Create a Character.
• Best. Name. Ever. - 5G - Rename your band.
• Well Connected - 6G - Connect your Rock Band 3 Band with rockband.com at http://www.rockband.com.
• You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet - 20G - Maintain overdrive for 60 seconds.
• Alex's Luggage Combination - 30G - Beat a Rock Band 3 score of 12,345,678.
• Hometown Threwdown - 20G - Complete the "Hometown Throwdown" Road Challenge.
• Real Nor'easter - 20G - Complete "The Wicked Awesome Tour".
• Wilderness Survival - 20G - Complete the "Through the Wilderness, Eh?" Road Challenge.
• Party Animal - 20G - Completed the "Total Debauchery" Road Challenge.
• Mile High Club - 25G - Complete the "Really Frequent Flyers" Road Challenge.
• HOPO-cidal Maniac - 25G - Kill 53,596 Hammer-ons and Pull-offs.
• Guitar Apprentice - 20G - 5 Star on Easy Guitar (or 3 Star on a higher difficulty) any 25 Rock Band 3 songs.
• Bass Apprentice - 20G - 5 Starred on Easy Bass (or 3 Starred on a higher difficulty) 25 Rock Band 3 songs.
• Fastest Feet - 15G - Hit 90% of the Kick notes in a song on Hard Drums.
• Drums Apprentice - 20G - 5 Star on Easy Drums (or 3 Star on a higher difficulty) any 25 Rock Band 3 songs.
• Vocals Showmanship - 10G - Deploy overdrive four times in a single song as a vocalist.
• Tambourine Master - 10G - Hit 100% of the notes in a percussion section.
• Vocal Apprentice - 20G - 5 Star on Easy Vocals (or 3 Star on a higher difficulty) any 25 Rock Band 3 songs.
• The Endless Setlist III - 50G - Successfully complete "The Endless Setlist III!"
• Live Free or Die - 25G - Beat all of the free downloadable songs for Rock Band.
• Face Melter - 25G - Melt faces by beating any three '80s Metal songs.

The remaining 670G consists of the other 335Gs from above that'll have you buying-and-learning new peripherals, and yet another 335Gs that also might give you a run for your money (if you have any left, that is).

• Millionaire Club - 25G - Get 1,000,000 on one song.
• Rock Band Master - 25G - 5 Star on Medium (or 3 Star on a higher difficulty) any 50 Rock Band 3 songs.
• Rock Band Legend - 30G - 5 Star every song in Rock Band 3 on Hard.
• Rock Band Immortal - 50G - 5 Star every song in Rock Band 3 on Expert.
• Hell Defrosted - 25G - Win all rewards on the "Hell Freezes Over" Road Challenge.
• Major Mileage - 25G - Get 90 or more spades on "The Long Drive South" Road Challenge.
• The Connoisseur's Connoisseur - 25G - Get 90 or more spades on "The European Connoisseur" Road Challenge.
• Ultimate Road Warrior - 30G - Win all awards on the "Really Frequent Flyers" Road Challenge.
• Bleeding Fingers - 30G - Get 85% on all Guitar Solos in Rock Band 3 on Hard or Expert.
• Guitar Perfectionist - 25G - Get 100% accuracy on Expert Guitar.
• Bass Streaker - 10G - Get a streak of 500 notes on Bass.
• Most Authentic Strummer - 10G - Hit 100% of the notes, only strumming up, on Hard Bass.
• Drum Roll, Please! - 10G - Nail a drum roll.
• Vocal Virtuoso - 15G - Earn an Awesome rating on at least 90% of the phrases in 6 songs on Hard Vocals.

Some of these are unknowns that might normally be fodder for The Mid rather than The Hard List, but the latter will likely be where the game ends up (like most of its predecessors), thanks in part to the return of Harmonix's least awesome ach from Guitar Hero II: 5 starring every song on expert. You have more instruments, easier charting, and a more forgiving setlist this time around (in my opinion), but overall it's looking like you'll need at least as much capability as you do cash to complete this one.