Friday, April 30, 2010

Achievements are the Most Important Thing Ever

Relax, they're not. Still, almost anytime a similar site is spawned it's always accompanied by the critic's cry: "They're just a bunch of useless numbers, you know." Yes, we know. Direction and design, novelty and narrative, culture and commentary - games have never had so much going for them, so much worthy of appreciation - and we have the gall to go out and like achievements? That's right, 'cuz we're loners, Dottie, REBELS.

So here's what to expect:
General Tips - Not sure where to start? Not too sharp, are you?

The Easy List - Interested in renting games for some quick and easy points? You masochist, you.

The Mid List - Tired of the question/insult explanation format? You're dumb! Okay, sorry - The Mid List is home to the majority of games out there - nothing that you can 1K in 1 sitting, but nothing that will slowly sap your humanity for months at a time, unlike...

The Hard List - Broken achievements, shut-down servers, impossible completions, and just plain loooooong and/or difficult achievements, The Hard List is rough journey for only the most admirably dedicated and/or depressingly damaged gamer - only you can decide.

The Shut-Down Server List - Also known as "EA vs. 2K: Who Will Win?" Answer: we lose. These games are no longer playable online, making some of their achievements completely impossible.

Glossary - Kind of like a dictionary only without the "diction", but still with the "ary", and with no actual "gloss" involved. Words, people, words.

Contact - Check me out kids, I'm hip! I got the tweeters and the facebooks, and you can even send freemails and chatters to my webnets! I'm 83 years-old.
That's it for the core of the site, otherwise you can keep a bearded eye open for weekly ramblings, and up to the minute tweets on the latest achievement releases and their difficulty, wherever The Beard may find them.

Welcome to AchievementBeard.com!