Mondays are Magical!

Like what I've done with the place? What can I say, I'm really good at just clicking a bunch of buttons. But that's all over-the-hood (a legitimate phrase as of... now), so here's a couple changes under-the-hood you might enjoy:

• Updates every Monday! Okay starting next week! Yeah, this was the plan from the beginning, but you know what they say about plans: I was busy, go away.

• Go Beyond the Beard! Get this: I like achievements (who doesn't, right?), but they pale in comparison to some of the impossibly profound stuff going on in gaming nowadays. So The Beard has done what he does best: created a blog where he can use all the big, fruity words his hairy little heart desires.

• Another round of updates for the Easy, Mid, and Hard Lists! 2K Games will also help us fatten up the Shut-Down Server list in a couple days, but we'll whine about that later. In any event, AchievementBeard.com now lists almost 300 separate games - not too shabby for someone that looks too shabby!

There you have it - see you on Monday!

I Have No "Under Construction" GIF

During the growth of any beard there comes a time when you have to do something about all the blank patches and unkempt corners, and for AchievementBeard.com... that time has come. So soon, you say? Well, the site sat on a shelf for some time after its initial design, and towards "launch" it was more important to get things going than to get things perfect. So don't worry - despite repeated efforts, The Beard is actually not dead - he's just had his head under the hood for a couple weeks. Come Monday expect something of a re-design to happen, with a couple new features to boot.

Until then, keep unlocking achievements, and you can always keep an eye on Twitter for up-to-date and professional grade bearding.

:)>

Crackdown 2 Achievement Break Down

Remember when it took you months to figure out Crackdown was a good game because you were too busy playing the Halo 3 beta? Yeah me neither - borrowed it from a friend just last year. Then maybe you remember when your OCD and ADD happily combined as you collected all those shiny objects called "orbs"? Still nothing? Then instead you probably remember getting fed-up and/or bored with it after the first several hundred of them. Well, the achievements for Crackdown 2 are here, and I'm noticing a theme...

Collectible Collectibles - 280

Yep, a whole 28% of your 1K is going to be straight up looking for stuff, or looking for stuff straight up. To spice it up this time around the team at Ruffian Games has thrown in some "Audio Logs" à la Bioshock, and created the much admired and maligned "Renegade Orb" - a mobile orb that will actually run away from you when you try to collect it (like I don't have this problem enough in real life).

Tellin’ Stories Collect and listen to an Audio Log.	10
Closed Book Collect and listen to every Audio Log in Pacific City.	20
In Plain Sight Find and collect a Hidden Orb.	10
Sixth Sense Find and collect every Hidden Orb in Pacific City.	30
First Rung of the Ladder Find and collect an Agility Orb	10
King of the World Find and collect every Agility Orb in Pacific City.	50
In the Net Catch an Agility Renegade Orb or Driving Renegade Orb.	10
Renegade Runner Find and collect every Renegade Agility Orb in Pacific City.	20
Renegade Racer Find and collect every Renegade Driving Orb in Pacific City.	20

Wingsuit Racer Glide through every Wingsuit Stunt Ring in Pacific City.	20
Stuntman Jump a vehicle through every Vehicle Stunt Ring in Pacific City.	20
LIVE and let LIVE Collect every Online Orb in Pacific City.	10

Solid Block of Orbsome Find and collect every Agility, Hidden, Renegade and Online Orb in Pacific City.

50

Story Collectibles - 420

I know I'm verging on semantics here, but it's interesting to think of how much of what we do in video games can often be reduced to just "collecting". Open world games (like Crackdown) are arguably especially susceptible to this, but it's more accurately a staple that spans across every genre the medium has to offer. Seeing as at its core collection is practically a game in its own right, it isn't hard to see why it's a fine fit for gaming in general, but what's going on in our own heads that we as gamers just eat it up every time? Or do we? How much collecting is too much? If Crackdown 2 is anything like Crackdown 1, we just might have an answer.

Whoops, forgot to make that paragraph funny... or did I??

First Hurdle Survive Agent Diagnostics and earn deployment into Pacific City.	20
Get Connected Locate and activate an Absorption Unit, alone or with another Agent.	20
Plugged In Locate and activate every Absorption Unit in Pacific City, alone or with another Agent.	50
Big Bang Oversee the deployment and successful detonation of a Beacon, alone or with another Agent.	20
Hope Springs Savior Detonate every Beacon in Hope Springs, alone or with another Agent.	50

Green Bay Savior Detonate every Beacon in Green Bay, alone or with another Agent.	50
Unity Heights Savior Detonate every Beacon in Unity Heights, alone or with another Agent.	50
Light Bringer Detonate every Beacon in Pacific City, alone or with another Agent.	20
All Under Control Secure all Tactical Locations within one Cell stronghold, alone or with another Agent.	20
Location, Location, Location Secure every Tactical Location in Pacific City for the Agency, alone or with another Agent.	50
Pest Control Clear out and close down a Freak Breach, alone or with another Agent.	10
The Closer Close down every Freak Breach in Pacific City, alone or with another Agent.	20
Tower Power Complete the final phase of Project Sunburst at Agency Tower, alone or with another Agent.	20

Jack of all Trades Complete one of every objective type in Pacific City.

20

Déjà Vu Collectibles - 120

Most of the previously listed achievements could also fit here, and while it's understandable (even preferable, for many) that every game have some basic progression, collection, and/or completion achievements, I'm not sure why using the harpoon gun and making 30 things explode merited repeat achievements. Wasn't a big fan of the races in Crackdown 1, either. If only there were some sort of achievement for whining.

Speed Demon Complete a Road or Rooftop Race	10
Street Racer Complete every Road Race in Pacific City.	20
Rooftop Racer Complete every Rooftop Race in Pacific City.	20

Who’s the Daddy? Develop each of your skills to their maximum levels.

50

Pin Cushion Use Harpoon Gun to pin 5 enemies to a single vehicle.	10
Bomberman Create 30 explosions in 60 seconds.	10

Developer Collectibles - 180

Now this is where developers and achievements can shine: tasks that take specific advantage of the gametype and gameplay thus providing creative and unique experiences! Not coincidentally this is also where you'll probably find some of the hardest achievements for the game - "Victory Roll" being especially indicative of the luck factor that comes into play.

Pebble Dash From the top of full-height Agency Tower, leap into the chimney stack and live to tell the tale.	10
City Glider Wingsuit glide through the airspace of all islands in Pacific City without touching down.	10
Squad City Glider 4 Agents, Wingsuit-glide through the airspace of all islands in city within 30 secs of leader.	20
Open up a Can Kill 5 enemies with a single gas cylinder.	10
Co-op Keepy-Up Pass a vehicle back and forth between Agents 3x using UV shotguns. Vehicle must not hit the ground.	10
Yippee-Kai-Yay Drive an Agency SUV into an airborne helicopter.	10
Strike! Kill 25 Freaks with thrown objects or vehicles.	10
Victory Roll Alone or with another Agent, kill an enemy with a mounted turret while airborne and upside-down!	10
Mosh Pit Land 20 successful hand-to-hand attacks in a chain. Under 3 secs between attacks to chain them.	10
Scarface Use the minigun to amass 20 enemy kills in a 10 second period.	10
Zero Factor Use a UV weapon to amass 20 Freak kills in a 10 second period.	10
Street Sweeper While driving a vehicle kill 5 enemies in a single power slide.	10

25 Ways to Die Find 25 unique ways to destroy your cloned body.	10
Car Jump Leap from one fast moving vehicle to another.	10
Chopper Stomper Leap from an airborne Agency helicopter and using a Ground Strike, kill at least one enemy.	10
Party Bus Four Agents; one driver and three gunners, on a Battle Bus. Must jump through a Vehicle Stunt Ring.	10
Pile Driver Kill 5 enemies with a single Ground Strike.	10

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You ready, agent??