Glossary

The AchievementBeard Glossary is always a work in progress people, contact to contribute!
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1K (1King, 1Ks, 1Ked) - 1000, as in all 1000 achievement points of any given game. The "K" comes from "kilo" which comes from the Greek word "χίλιοι" which comes from taping pencils to a chicken's feet and feeding him a lot of cocaine.

Ach - The best way to abbreviate "achievement" without sounding like a 13 year-old girl or mental patient e.g. "cheev", "cheevo", "cheevy cheevies oh-em-geevy!!!"

Boosting - When laziness meets OCD, boosting is born - well, sometimes. Other times you're stuck playing a game with online ach after the community has long since died, so naturally you gather up comparably plighted people and take turns killing each other. It's great!

Completionist - Never content with anything but 100%, the completionist shudders at the sound of words like "Quake 4" or "G.R.A.W.", and will typically go out of his way to maintain his high completion percentage - even murder...ously long gaming sessions!

Exploit - Initially thought to be a new bodily function discovered by fraternity scientists, an exploit is actually a lovely little loophole in any given game that allows you to bend the rules a bit, possibly providing 1 or 2 unlocked achievements along the way...

Gamesaver - Imagine if you could start a game at any point just before an achievement is about to unlock. Great. Now imagine you play for however many seconds until... achievement unlocked! Now imagine you're a cheater. Image complete!

Grinder - Much like its cosmic equivalent, the black hole, a grinder is an excessively time-consuming achievement that uses months upon months of repetition to suck every last bit of life and relevant thought from your mushy little brain just before causing your Xbox to Red Ring.

Second Profile Glitch (SPG, SPGer, SPGing) - Similar to gamesaving (in that it's unmistakeably cheating), profile glitchers skip the whole "earning" part of unlocking achievements by mooching off a "second profile" that already has the ach they want.

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If there's a word missing from the glossary, it's because you haven't yet sent it to The Beard!

Bombarded by Beard

That's right, mail now comes in a special "E" version! So fire up that Epen and write achievementbeard@gmail.com in that receiver's square, because surely that's what all those things are called. And don't forget to attach pictures of your beautiful beards - and I'm not just talking to the ladies.

That's right,face now comes in a special "book" version (hey it's not my fault they didn't call it Eface - they've lost millions). What I can only assume started out as an underpowered Farmville engine has since grown into a huge place where you can "like" and become "a fan" of things!

Whenever you're not too busy ROFLing or BRBing you should try this more ADD friendly version of e-stalking called Tweeter (or something)! Not only will you get to hear about the most recent developments in achievement land (which actually isn't the name of the latest island the Japanese are building), you'll also be privy to the poorest puns that lack-of-money can buy!

Well aren't you the chatty kathy! If you've got something against Gtalk and Facebook chat you can always try AOL Instant Messenger (AIM for all you acronym-loving goofs out there) at the painfully obvious username of "AchievementBeard".

Be beardly, now.